name = Bari
email = barigirl@geocities.com
title = Take A Look At Me Now
warnings = Little 'after the fact' warning
story = All comments and virtual Marcus should be forwarded to:
barigirl@geocities.com.

DISCLAIMER:  I don't own these characters.  JMS does.  I am broke.  I hardly 
make enough to pay for the cost of tuition and books during a semester.  No 
infringement is intended.  

Mild Spoilers for Season 4.

                                 TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW
  
                                         By Bari

She was used to having people look at her.  Ever since she came back with the 
Vorlons and took a job with Kosh she'd been the out of place one; the loner 
on the edge of station life.  
A savior, yes.  One to be trusted, no.  The one everyone turned to when they 
needed a person to be scanned or a shadow ship to block.  Yet she never 
attended social functions or even had a drink with one of the high ranking 
officers.  Well, not that the Captain had any time to spare.  He'd just gotten 
married and no one had seen him since.  The Commander was nursing a broken 
heart.  Marcus had been injured in a white star accident and was in Cryogenic 
Freeze.  It had taken her so long to recover from former lover betrayals, and 
after Marcus's accident the Commander had no trust in love what so ever.  A 
safty line had been secured, however.  A minbari healer had been sent for, 
and from all accounts, he was the only person who could help Marcus recover.  
The head doctor was distant; just a shell of what he used to be.  Stephen was 
riddled with a deep depression; the last cousin he had died during an Earth 
riot.  Her Savior Garibaldi was raising hell to make up for what the Psi-Core 
did to him.  If he didn't know her personally, Michael would have stripped her 
naked and shoved her out an airlock.  

The black gloves that swathed her hands and the platinum pin she donned served 
a warning to everyone.

Even children.

They parted away like the Red Sea to Moses as she walked by.  Stares of fear, 
hate, disgust or malice greeted her at every public corner on Babylon 5.  
Lyta hated to admit it; her life was a living hell.

*****************************************************************************
***********************************

Lyta bumped disconcertingly into a crowd of rough-looking 'businessmen' from 
the sordid decks of Down Below.  "Excuse me.", Lyta apologized, "I didn't see 
you."  The men looked at each other in deadpan fashion.  All of them were over 
six feet tall and as burly as it got.  "Oh, really?" one of them replied; 
looking Lyta in a disgruntled light.  "Why didn't you just read our minds 
and avoid us?  Huh?  That's all you telepaths do anyway.  Except you might be 
a good lay...."
Lyta ignored them and sidestepped the obnoxious cons when another guy grabbed 
her arm on the retreat.  
"Where ya goin'?  What's the rush?" he asked, jerking her close to his body 
drunkenly.  
"I'm going home." She stated coldly; stomping down hard on his foot with her 
spiked healed boot.  She only bought a few brief seconds of freedom before the 
other men pounced on her, but Lyta hoped the scene was big enough to get the 
attention of the security guards nearby.  The gang took their time smoting 
Lyta across the face and bashing  her stomach.  "Filthy telepath.  You 
think you're better than us?"  Blood dripped down her pale face from a cut 
near her eye.  "Bitch.  You're nothing!  Do you hear me?  Nothing!"  Lyta 
felt drained and the floor seemed so close.  Her legs gave way to kiss the 
steely plate beneath her.  
******************************************************************************
*****************************
Zack Allen stormed his way down to Med Lab.  The security officers at the 
Zocalo broke up a drunken brawl between a group of shotty businessmen and Lyta 
Alexander.  What did the Chief always say?  'Strag 'em and Space 'em'.  Ya, 
that's what he'd do; to all of them when he had the chance.  Dr. Hobbs showed 
him to the bed where Lyta laid unconsciously.  The cut around her eye had been 
stitched up cleanly, but huge purple-green bruises covered her swollen cheeks 
without mercy.  Zack followed her arms down where red marks of a hand were 
marred cleanly into her skin.  

"Is she all right?" he asked the doctor while sweeping some of the loose 
strands of gold hair from her forehead.  "She'll be ready to go home when she 
wakes up.  But I believe she'll be very distressed after what's happened, so 
I wouldn't leave her alone for the next couple of weeks." Replied Hobbs 
hurriedly, "If you'll excuse me, I have a surgery to prepare for."  

Zack mumbled his thanks as Hobbs left the room.  Grabbing a chair in the 
corner, he perched himself at Lyta's side to wait for answers.
******************************************************************************
***********************************
Lyta awoke to stiff muscles and a sour stomach when she realized a warmth 
enveloped her hand.  Zack Allen was sleeping in the chair next to her medlab 
bed, carefully holding her hand in his gentle grasp.  She didn't have to use 
her mind to spot the concern-worn lines on his face, or to know that he 
genuinely cared for her.  Lyta tried to sit up, but her body screamed in pain.  
She squeezed Zack's hand gently to wake him slowly. Zack responded immediately 
to her ministrations.  The sick taste in his mouth surfaced along with a few 
dark patches under his eyes, but at least Lyta was safe for the moment.  
"How ya feeling?" he asked, sliding over to sit on the edge of the bed.  
"Like the living target of a shadow vessel. " she replied,  "What are you 
doing here?"  

Zack shook his head and sighed defeatedly.  "Well, I heard you had a little 
problem in the Zocalo, so I came over to see how you were doing."  Lyta 
squeezed his hand in thanks.  "I don't call five guys the size of basketball 
posts a 'little problem'." She replied stoically.  "Well, I hate to rush you, 
but are you up to busting those bastards who attacked you?  All you need is to 
make a clean ID and we can get 'em on assault." Zack stated.  Lyta shook her 
head.  "Can I just go home and do that tomorrow?  I really don't feel like 
doing that right now."  The loss in her eyes radiated to the core of his soul. 
She needed some protection right now.  "Sure, let me check with the doctor 
and I'll take you home." He assured, rubbing her hand for comfort before 
checking with the doctor.
******************************************************************************
************************************

  Zack was surprised she allowed him to help her through the twist of 
corridors to her quarters.  In fact, Lyta was barley able to walk all the way 
back.  Her companion lent his strong hands for support; asking for nothing in 
return.  Zack used his security clearance to open the door lock, and when they 
were out of sight from the general public, he gathered her into his arms and 
laid her gently onto the bed.  "I'm sorry.  I just didn't think that you 
would've made it here."  He apologized, "Do you want anything?  How about a 
glass of water?"  Lyta was putty in his capable hands.   "Sure.  The glasses 
are in the bottom left cubord."  Zack rummaged though her kitchen and slowly 
passed the stereo system.  He fingered through Les Miserables, Evita, 
Jeckyell & Hyde, and Phantom of the Opera.  Madam Butterfly stared up at him 
from it's bright shiny red case.  'What the hell', he thought as he fed the 
c.d.'s to the music machine.  The opening aria began as he walked into the 
room.  

"I didn't know you liked that stuff." Zack commented casually.  
Lyta took the water and sipped it carefully.  "My mother was into it.  She 
was a music teacher and used to walk around the house singing the songs day 
in and day out."    She noticed he watched her carefully; making sure she was 
really OK, and not just putting on a show.  "Look, Zack.  I'm fine.  You don't 
need to stick around here and baby-sit me."  Zack shook his head. 
"Sorry.  Dr. Hobbs said you needed someone to stick around and look after you 
for awhile."  
"Oh no Zack.  You don't have to", the telepath started until Allen interrupted 
her.  "I want to." 
He stated sincerely, as he took off her shoes and started tucking her into bed.  
"Someone's gotta make sure you get better.  It's not like anyone else has the 
time to.."  
Zack looked up into her eyes; a swirling brown aura of fear and longing.  He 
came three inches from her mouth before realizing this particular moment 
would not be a strong basis in which to deepen their budding relationship.  
Chastely, he kissed her forehead and tucked the covers around her shoulders.  
"I'll leave you to get some rest.  I'll be in the other room if you need 
anything." He whispered.  Lyta watched him go, and felt him stop to exhale 
heavily after he had left the room.  She smiled to think her real life 
guardian angel was staying in the other room.  Contentedly, she fell into a 
healing sleep.
******************************************************************************
*********************************
Lyta recognized the men who attacked her bright and early the next morning.  
Security busted them with assault, and within hours of release, they left the 
station.  Zack dropped Lyta off at her place for a nap, and then left to have 
lunch with Mr. Garibaldi.  Michael stood triumphantly over his Fedichinni 
Alfrado as his friend made an appearance.  "Hey Zack!  Ready for some lunch?" 
Garibaldi asked brightly, parading his prized entree to the dinner table.  
The aroma of decent food waived over to the new security chief.  "Sure.  Is 
that what I think it is?" Allen commented.  Garibaldi gestured to a chair at 
the table.  "Yes it is.  Come'on and help yourself."  

Zack didn't need to be asked twice.  He hurriedly slapped the napkin into his 
lap and heaped his plate full.  "So, what have you been up to lately?  Some 
of your people told me you've been busy the last few days."  Allen tried to 
keep the conversation light.  "Ya, weell, It's been hairy the past couple of 
days, Chief.  A few thefts and brawls; you know how it is."  
Michael nodded his head in agreement.  "Ya.  I do.  Have you heard anything 
from the Captain yet?"  
"No." slurped Zack between a mouthful of Alfrado, "It's not like him to keep 
to himself for this amount of time."  
Garibaldi smiled impishly.  "It's not like he's exactly alone, Zack.  
Ambassador Delenn is with him.  Besides, I can understand his lack of presence.  
You don't get married everyday now, do you?  Besides, I have it on good 
authority that you've been seeing a tall, beautiful blond.  So tell me, 
what's her name and does she have a sister?"  The food in his mouth tasted 
raw as he swallowed hurriedly.  "Well, the blond; I think you know her.  
It's Lyta Alexander."
*****************************************************************************
The remainder of the meal was strangely quiet.  Near the end of the Alfrado, 
Garibaldi broke the silence.  
"You and Lyta have....feelings for each other?" he asked.  Zack nodded 
sullenly.  "Ya, we do.  After what happened with you and the Psi-Core_" Zack 
was interrupted by Michael's gestures to silence.  "Lyta didn't do anything 
to me.  Hell, we even worked together for awhile.  And I know she didn't join 
Core again with a willing heart.  I've been wrapped up in my own agenda 
since I found out what happened to me that I haven't stopped to see who got 
ran over in the process." his voice filled with regret, "Look, tell her I'm 
sorry for being such an ass.  From what I hear she needs all the friends she 
can get now.  So tell Lyta I'll be over to visit her soon. OK?"  
Zack smiled hopefully.  "Ya, I'll tell her.  Which reminds me.  I gotta make 
sure she gets some dinner."  Garibaldi looked at him perplexedly.  
"What?  She's all right isn't she?"  
Allen tried to hide his concern.  "She's fine.  She just got tangled in a 
fight yesterday and Hobbs said I should keep and eye on her for awhile."  
"Well, give her this." requested Garibaldi as he gave Zack the leftover 
Alfrado.  "It's not as good as when it's fresh, but it's better than eating 
out."
******************************************************************************
**
It was wonderful to watch her eat.  Lyta wasn't the kind of woman to order a 
salad and not eat half of it.  "Are you sure you don't want any?" she asked 
Zack, breaking him out of her reverie.  "This stuff is great!"  She downed 
another forkful and took a sip of water.  "Na.  I ate all I could when it was 
fresh.  The Chief made so much of that stuff I won't be able to eat for a 
week."  
Lyta rolled her eyes at the ceiling.  "Com'on Zack.  I hate to eat all this 
good food and then see you with nothing.  I just got some Titanis prunes 
yesterday.  Go have one."  He relented to the kitchen to get the treasured 
treat.  "You know, Lyta, why don't I take you out for dinner tomorrow night?  
It would give you a chance to get grounded." Zack commented, half expecting 
for a refusal.  "Sure.  What time do you want to meet up?" her voice sounded 
laxity.  "Ahh.  Actually I was thinking of picking you up.  
Kinda like a..a..a" he stuttered.  "A Date." 
His companion finished.  Allen stuttered, "Ya.  Kindalike a date.  Ahh, what 
time should I pick you up?"
******************************************************************************
***** 
Lyta stood in front of wall mirror examining her outfit for the last time.  
The straightgreen dress complemented her tall frame while her hair lightly 
haloed her lovely face.  She reached dreamily for her black gloves and 
insignia pin.  No.  Psi-Core might own her body, but they wouldn't get it till 
she was dead.  In the meantime, Lyta was going to live life as fully as she 
could.  The Psi paraphanilia was slapped hurriedly into a keepsake box as the
door buzz sounded.  "Come." Lyta chimed.  Zack had donned a heather 
Garibaldi-type leisure suit for their night excursion.  He stammered a quiet 
hi over a small bouquet of flowers.  She accepted them graciously, and 
arranged them in water before they left.  The dinner went fine.  Zack noticed
Lyta's general lightheartedness when she wasn't chained in the Psi-Core 
shackles.  They held hands on the table; a seemingly innocent gesture in the 
eyes of an onlooker, but the couple at the table didn't notice.  The 
warm-hearted security chief and his enigmatic lady companion seemed oblivious 
to the world around them.
They were enjoying a finial cup of synthetic coffee when they were interrupted 
by a passer-by.
"Ah, Miss Alexander.  You look stunning tonight." greeted a blood chilling 
voice.  Both Lyta and Zack looked at the figure lurking beside them with 
equal apprehension.  Bester, on the other hand, blocked any pleasure he 
received by messing up their romantic evening.  
"I bet you never expected to see me back so soon, did you?  But I looked into 
my self and said, 'Bester, you need to check up on your Babylon 5 investment'. 
So when I step into the Zocalo, what do I see?  I happen to see what I came 
to check up on.  Well, Lyta.  How have you been?" he smiled grandly.  
Zack was twelve seconds from initiating an inter-space incident before his 
date interjected.

"Fine." she snapped, "Now would you mind leaving?  I'm trying to enjoy my 
night out."

"Of corse." Her opponent nodded, "I just wanted to make sure Mr. Allen knew 
what he was getting into.  Has she told you about our agreement?" he spouted.

"Bastard!" she whispered hoarsely, before gathering her purse and bolting 
from the situation.

A perverted smile laced easily across Bester's face.

Zack watched Lyta leave and Bester's reaction.  "You can't give her an inch, 
can you?  Every time she tries to get ahead, you find a way to knock her down.  
But you listen to me!  One day, you're not going to be able to pull what you 
just did and walk away the winner.  God as my witness, I'll make sure you 
pay."  Allen swept up from the table and sprinted off to find Lyta.  The 
crowd that stopped to watch the display scuttled off to their own business 
once Bester's athoritive eyes swept around the area.  He thought it was fun 
to play with her mind.  And he was having a wonderful time so far.

Allen chased after Lyta, leaving Bester to ponder the words he had just 
overheard. Maudane threats only made the challenge more delightful.
******************************************************************************
*******************
Zack had made it to Lyta's apartment in record time.  He could only imagine 
what she was going through.  She let him in when he arrived, but she said 
nothing of Bester's remark.  
"Lyta, it's been a long night.  I'll leave you to.." he was running out of 
words to say.  Allen just gave up and headed for the door.  Her grip stunned 
his arm and pulled his body to a complete stop.  "No." she implored.  "Stay."
******************************************************************************
****************
"I guess this is a bad time to tell you that I don't normally do it on the 
first date." she piped up a few hours later.  Zack smiled wryly.  She had to
be kidding.  But Lyta wasn't one to kid around.  
"So why are we in together, naked, and in your bed?" he joked.
The warm place where her head had been resting on his bare chest suddenly
turned fridged as she moved to get up.  Her legs swung around to get out
of bed but Zack pulled her back into his embrace.  
"Lyta.  What are you running from?  Tell me." he stated sincerely.
Lyta couldn't meet his gaze.  "I can't get you involved, Zack.  I don't
want you to get hurt." was her answer.  
"I want to get involved!  We already are.  I want to know what's troubling
you."
Lyta pushed him away in frustration.  Ugly black blotches under her eyes
surfaced in the dim light and all the pent up frustration serfaced without
mercy.  
"Take a look at me Zack!  Take a good long look!  What do you see?  To you,
maybe a lost soul who needed a friend.  But when I look in the mirror, do
you know what I see?  I see a hypocrite, who sold her soul to the devil 
in order to get her life back.  Do you have any idea how I got back into
Psi-Core?" she asked; grabbing her blue silk robe from the chair beside the
bed.  Zack felt stunned.  The warm stupor he'd been emersed in suddenly
disintegrated into a hellish nightmare.  "No." came his answer.  This was
her problem spot.  This was what she'd been hiding from everyone else
on the station for the past few months.  She was finally coming clean.
"I gave possession of my body to Bester after my death." flew her answer.
"What?" Zack stuttered.
"That's why he calls me his little 'investment'.  I know, I know.  It sounds
strange.  But when I found the Vorlons, they... changed me.  They gave me
a chance to be more than the P5 I was.  Bester found out about it and
when he heard of my financial situation, well-"  She suddenly fell silent.
Lyta moved stiffly to the opposite side of the room, waiting for him to
reject her for her actions. 
"I'm sorry!  I'm so sorry I didn't tell you-"  She watched as he rose from the
bed donned in a pair of shorts, to her side.  She ignored his concerned look.
"Look," she started tiredly, "I'm sorry about last.."
"I'm not.  I wanted something like that to happen since the war ended." Zack
replied, trying to take her back into his arms to show that it really didn't
matter; that they could work through it.  She stiffened at his touch.  
"Lyta, do you know what I see when I look at you?  I see someone who's stuck
somewhere outside too.  Who's smart and selfless.  And who holds my love in 
her hands.  There's nothing to hate."  He held her face in his hands and 
rubbed the tender skin of her cheeks endearlingly.   
"Nothing in those deep eyes of yours or in that beautiful soul you have that 
could make me love you less.  I've done some things I'm not too proud of 
either.  But they can destroy us, or make us better.  I personally think they 
improve what we are."
Lyta shook violently, all the years of pent up emotion suddenly came rolling
back down her face in salty tears.  She fell into his easy embrace.
"Do I make you a better person?" she asked quietly.
"Yes and no.  You let me get up in the morning and wonder when I'm going to
bump into you.  Then Bester or someother jerk comes and hurts you..and I just 
want to rip their lungs out.  But do you know what the best thing is?  I can
sleep at night and have good dreams for the first time in years.  Does your
ability have anything to do with a dream of you and me on a beach in Fort
Myers?" 
The look on his face made Lyta think he was serious.  "Were there little
green lizards running around in the trees?" she asked.
"Ya.  I think I looked up long enough to see some of those things jumping 
around." he replied, giving her a face to chuckle over.
"Then if you're tired of that dream; have you ever been to Keiwah Island, 
South Carolina?"

Two security officers were making their rounds in green sector when they heard
immense laughing coming from one of the rooms.  One voice was defiantly femine,
but, wasn't that the Chief's voice as well?  They looked at each other and 
continued walking their rounds.
******************************************************************************
***************
Two Weeks Later

Lyta finished preparing the steamed vegetables for dinner.  She looked at
the time on the BabCom; 18:02 hours.  Zack was late.  Then again, so was
she.  The tableware was slapped hurriedly onto the table while loose strands
of hair was brushed away briskly.  The door chime sounded as she gathered 
herself at the wall mirror.  
"Coming." 
She closed her eyes and half expected a welcome kiss, but only blank air
swept her face. 
"Gee, Zack.  Now I know why you sneak away early from work every night." the
familiar voice of Garibaldi cracked.  
"You can open your eyes, love." stated Zack shortly after he kissed her
fully.  "I've brought a friend home for dinner...."

It was almost like the old days.  Garibaldi's peppy voice and vintage
wine kept the talk lively and carefree while Lyta blossomed in front of
Zack's very eyes.   She was so animated when she talked.  They talked about 
Marcus's full recovery, and Susan's reaction to the whole thing.  The 
Commander had been so happy she agreed to give the healer half the stock of 
her percious vodka.  Sure, minbari couldn't drink it, but the healer planned 
to swap it for some much needed supplies.  Zack Allen might
be young in the eyes of the universe, but he could see the healing of old
wounds and the makings of a tight friendship between the two people he 
admired most in the entire universe.  This dinner seemed to signal a 
rebirth of pleasant times...

For little while anyway.


The End


-----------------------------------------------