From bhwaer-2@mail.idt.net Tue Dec 24 17:32:59 1996 Date: Sat, 28 Sep 1996 20:09:12 -0700 From: Brian Waer Subject: Stories Text enclosed in carats < > denote a character's thoughts. Text enclosed in * * denotes emphasis. Of Light and Shadows It seemed quiet--too quiet --for Commander Susan Ivanova's liking. She paced back and forth, wondering what had caused the sudden and unexpected lull in activity. she thought, looking at the rest of the crew, who seemed as bored as she was. Finally, she decided, This time, instead of centering her thoug hts around the crew, she tried to send them home. Fed up, she muttered under her breath, "Fine-don't answer me!!" See if I care!! A few minutes later, David Corwin looked at his console in surprise as it beeped at him. He hadn't expected any ships, particularly at this ungodly hour, but he was glad for the distraction. He pushed his brown hair back out of his eyes as he looke d up to the Captain's office. Well, cubicle. "Commander?" asked Lt. Corwin tentatively, hesitant to interrupt Susan's thoughts, but desperate to give her something--anything--to do. Sighing in frustration, Susan almost growled. Her head was already pounding, and for the first time in years, she was sure it was partly caused by the severe tightness with which she pulled her hair back. "Yes...Lieutenant?" "There's a transport ship requesting docking clearance. I thought maybe you'd..." He trailed off, but his implication was clear: Susan's demeanor changed slightly as she grinned back at Corwin. "Route the controls to the Captain's office, Lieutenant." By the time she was done guiding the ship into Docking Bay Six, Susan's tension had become almost overwhelming. She couldn't stand still. All her instincts screamed at her to get out--to * do * something. "Lieutenant," she burst out suddenly, pointing at him enthusiastically, "You haven't had much experience up at the command cons ole, have you?" Surprised at the change in her attitude, Corwin looked up and grinned nervously. "No, sir." David thought wryly, "Wanna try?" she suggested. He shrugged indifferently, trying to mask his enthusiasm. "Sure." Susan nodded with a relieved smile and entered into the log that Lt. David Corwin was authorized to oversee her duties for the remainder of her shift. With goose bumps popping out on her arms, she raced for a transport tube and ordered it to the Cap tain's quarters. ****** Delenn leaned against the wall, her hands folded over her heart, and watched John sleep peacefully--so peacefully--on the bed. She smiled dreamily, feeling more complete and happy than she could ever remember being--even in the temple on Minbar that day looking up at the man bathed in light as he promised that no harm would come to her while she was in his house. She felt like that now, like she was in the presence of something greater than herself, nobler than she could ever hope to be. Pulling h erself out of her thoughts, Delenn wandered over to the counter and picked up the snow globe, turning it over in her hands, causing the lighthouse to shower the sparkling snow flakes in yellow light as they drifted back to the bottom. Without warning, and without beeping a request for entry, the door swung open, and a woman's high-pitched and very slightly accented voice called, "Hello?" The woman was silhouetted against the light from the corridor, bathed in darkness. Delenn's vision dimmed and her grip on the snow globe went limp. It slipped from her hands and fell to the floor. As soon as he woke up, Sheridan knew something was wrong--he could feel it, but he had no idea just how wrong everything was going to become. The combination of exhaustion and concern made him stumble wearily as he tried to get out of bed. In the back of his mind, he heard mumbling coming from in the living room, but it was muffled and it didn't register in his conscious mind. The only thought in his head that he was aware of was that something was wrong with Delenn, and that he was the cause of it. As he looked up and forced his eyes to open to the brightness coming from the living room, he tried to focus on the person swaying in the middle of the room, only later noticing the other person standing at the door. He stumbled over the covers he h ad pushed aside and fell to the floor, crying out in surprise as shards of glass cut his hands. As he pulled himself up, he looked back towards the center of the room. "D-Delenn, wh-what?" Alarmed when she didn't answer, he followed her vacant gaze to the woman in the doorway, and all the memories rushed back in a flood of disjointed images--picnics in the park, strolls under the dome in Syria Planum, candlelit dinners under the stars. "A-Anna? Is that you?!" he spluttered, in total shock, "My God! What...what happened?" As he got up to approach her, Delenn shook violently and began to have convulsions. Sheridan knew something terrible was happening to her again, that she was being pulled away again, and he couldn't bear to once again feel her soul--her warm, comfor ting presence that he had come to rely upon so heavily--rip away from his as he watched, helpless to prevent it. She was repeating one word, over and over, as though it were some sort of unholy mantra, but it was in Minbari, and he couldn't understand it . Ignoring the small stream of blood flowing from the palms of his hands--he would worry about that later--John rushed to her side, knelt beside her, and tried to find some way to comfort her. He wanted to--he * had * to find some way to stop this, to f eel like he was somehow able to prevent it-whatever * it * was. Without thinking about how it must look to Anna, he cradled Delenn in his arms, trying to hold her still. If she were a human, he knew that rubbing her forehead gently would probably calm her down. Since she had acquired human characteristics since her Transformation, he figured it was worth a try. After all, there was nothing else he could do. John gasped when he brushed aside her bangs, staring at the livid silvery-green triangle on her forehead. All Minbari belief is around three, Zathras had said, but the sight of this particular example of that belief sent ungodly chills up and down his spine. "Oh, my God!" he breathed. Whatever this triangle meant, instinct told him that he must not let Anna see it, or the one he knew would be further di vided and diminished. Delenn's tremors slowed down somewhat and she opened her eyes for the first time since she collapsed to the floor as though she sensed his presence and was strengthened by it. Her voice was very faint, but she beckoned, "John?" He bent down without thinking, responding only to the combination of urgency, sheer terror, and desperation in her voice. "Delenn, it's okay. Just relax. I'm here." Somehow he knew to lay his hand on the side of her face, as though to give her so me of his strength. At the same time, she reached up and touched his cheek, almost in answer to some unspoken invitation. He sucked in a surprised breath as he saw reflected in his mind what she had seen with her eyes only moments earlier: absolutely n othing. Just darkness--a profound, ominous, *evil * darkness, a darkness silhouetted against an outline of light. John didn't understand what he was seeing--or rather, not seeing--but his mind was about to overload, and he instinctively pulled it away f rom Delenn's. He couldn't bear to think about the terrible feeling of isolation with which he was left after his mind became his own again, so he temporarily dismissed the whole thing. Helplessly, he called out to Anna, and she took a few steps closer to them, but for some reason, it filled him with a sense of dread so overwhelming that it took his breath away. "No!" he screamed--almost shrieked, "Call Medlab! Get someone up her e! Fast! Hurry!!" Without protest, Anna crossed over to the Babcom panel and activated it, but before she could say anything, she heard footsteps approaching rapidly and her head swung around to look out the door, which, for some reason, had not closed . John looked up to see why Anna hadn't said anything, just in time to see Susan rush into the room, breathing heavily, eyes wide open--though whether it was from terror, curiosity, or some odd combination of the two, Sheridan couldn't tell. Her hands fluttered nervously in front of her as she looked at Delenn, shaking in the captain's arms. "John, what the..." Her voice trailed off in shock as she realized she had seen something like this before, when Delenn was stabbed in the side during a despera te dash to save John's life. ****** In the middle of all the chaos, Delenn noticed that Sniper had come around and was aiming a knife at Sheridan's back. He was turned away from them, checking one of Boggs' fallen colleagues. She shook free of Captain Lenan's protective grip and ran toward him, shrieking, "John! John, look * out *!" Suddenly, she slowed and moaned once, sickly. She reached out for John as if in supplication and Sheridan caught her as she fell, a look of astonishment on his face as he realized what had happened. "Delenn!" Susan looked up and saw the knife sticking out of Delenn's back. "Oh, my God!" Her expression of alarm was spoken almost as if she were asking Him for help. she thought in wonder. Susan wasn't sure whether it was the most profound statement of love she'd ever seen from the typically reserved Minbari ambassador, or whether it was the single most idiotic sight she'd ever seen. "Dammit!" whispered Michael, then shouted, feeling helpless, "Medics!" Then louder, with even more emotion, "* Medics *!!" He hovered in the background, waiting for Stephen, knowing that there was not much he could do. Human first aid, he knew; hum an anatomy he knew. But with Delenn, he didn't even know where a Minbari's vital organs were, or if their locations had changed after her Transformation, let alone whether or not the knife had pierced one. Cradling Delenn in his arms, John's hand hovered over her cheek reassuringly, as he touched her briefly here and there, by her ear and on her jaw line, whispering over and over, as much to himself as to her: "You're gonna be OK. You'll be OK." Gre y fourteen, the cargo bay, even the station could have moved to the other side of the galaxy, and he wouldn't have noticed--or cared. All that mattered was holding Delenn close, shielding her from further harm with his own body. Ivanova watched with horror as Sniper ran off, paralyzed by a combination of her own shock and the fear Sheridan was projecting. Her panic only increased when she realized she was scanning him, a skill she'd never admitted she had--even to herself-- and she suddenly understood that all this exertion--blocking Lyta, and then Talia, and using Draal's machine--had exercised her mind, developed her potential. Probing a bit deeper, knowing how almost by instinct, she saw--or rather, she shared--the sourc e of John's fear: He loved Delenn and was suddenly faced with the prospect of losing her as he'd lost Anna. She didn't think he'd survive it again, even if he felt only half as strongly about Delenn as he had for Anna, and Susan believed that exactly th e opposite was true. There was no doubt that John * had * loved his wife--loved her enough to run off to the Rim on the Agamemnon after her death to escape the memories. But what he felt for Delenn--it was a spiritual connection, coupled with genuine devotion. He'd had the latter with Anna, but the unity of his soul to Delenn's was something new. "Let her go, John!" she finally encouraged. "We'll take care of her." He looked up uncertainly, searching her eyes and Michael's for guidance. "We'll take care of her! Go !" As much as he hated leaving, Sheridan knew he could trust Susan to do everything humanly possible--and more--to save Delenn. "You take care of her," he echoed. Still torn, Sheridan glanced back down at Delenn, who, just before she lapsed totally into unconsciousness, managed to whisper weakly, "John...?" A wave of blind fury crashed over him, leaving Susan breathless from the strength of the telepathic emotion. Gasping, she managed to shout once more, " ** GO **!!!" as she gently massaged the area around the wound, trying to staunch the flow of bloo d. Passing Delenn into Stephen's waiting and medically detached arms, John stood and all emotions but a type of savage rage drained away. "He's ** MINE **!" ****** Susan blinked hard, trying to pull herself out of her reverie, but couldn't get the image of Delenn's life force slipping away again out of her mind. She knew she'd never forget what she'd seen in Grey Fourteen when Stephen pulled the knife out of D elenn's back. Along with the gush of blood Franklin had assured her was both normal and necessary for a Minbari, an image had popped into Susan's mind. She could see the bright light that was Delenn's soul hovering just above her body, as though decidin g whether or not to stay. Susan had looked into Delenn's eyes and understood what Stephen had meant about seeing God reflected in a dying person's eyes. Despite the power of the sight, Susan didn't have a name for it, but she knew that she was seeing it again. Somehow she knew that if she'd arrived any later, Delenn would be on the brink of death. She took a step towards John and Delenn to help them , but instead she turned her head to the right and suddenly found herself rooted in place. She had finally looked to the figure huddling in the far corner of the room, half of her body blanketed in shadows. As she stood there, staring mutely at Anna and looking as if she had seen someone raised from the dead, John cried desperately, "Susa n, help her!! She's gotta get to Medlab!!!" Susan didn't answer right away. She stood there, gasping, with her mouth hanging partly open, her eyes swinging back and forth between Delenn, Sheridan, and Anna, her hands moving uncertainly in front of her. In the year since she'd admitted her pe rhaps not-so-latent telepathic ability to him, Sheridan had learned to recognize her talent in action. It was acting now, as she finally managed to stutter, "I-is that...is that...y-your wife? That's...that's Anna!" John winced when Anna responded to Susan's inquiries before he had a chance to do so, even though her greeting was a simple "Hello...Susan, isn't it?" Her mind a confused jumble of images and fragments of thoughts that weren't her own, Susan ignored the other woman, instead turning back to Sheridan. "J-john," she spluttered, pointing towards Anna, "That's...I mean, she was...uh, that's your...wife . That's Anna. It is, isn't it?" John's first reaction was to think, Aloud, he r eplied simply, to keep the tension in the room at a relative minimum, "I know, dammit! But right now, that's not the problem. We'll discuss it later, Commander." The fear in his voice once again superseded any annoyance he might have felt as he looked back down at Delenn, who had begun to tremble even harder than before. "Please, she's got to get to Medlab! Fast!" As Susan crossed over to the couple on the floor, she noticed the blood flowing from the cuts on John's hands, and Delenn's legs and feet. The red drops mingled on the floor, diluted by puddles of water from the fallen snow globe. An image flashed into Susan's mind, one she didn't understand and couldn't trace back to a source. ****** A tall man in a brown coat was standing in front of a white hot flame, metallurgy molds laying ready in front of him. Susan recognized the shape: he was making a Ranger pin. The word whispered in her thoughts as the man took a long pike, picked up a bowl, and poured molten metal into the molds. To cool the hot metal, he dipped the pin into each of the three bowls. The first was filled with water, the next two with blood. As she watched, the pin was cooled by each of the three liquids, and the izil-zha stone inserted. Satisfied, he pushed back the head of his cloak, revealing brown hair streaked with grey, but Susan was watching from behind and couldn't see his face. All she knew was that it wasn't Jeff, despite what Marcus had called him. Whoever this hooded figure was, he was human, but he was not Jeffrey Sinclair. ****** What was happening finally started to sink in and Susan eventually managed to splutter out an offhand "Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Right," to John's repeated requests to take Delenn to Medlab. Gently lifting Delenn to her feet, careful not to aggravate her in juries, she put a kind arm around her, holding her steady as she shook like a willow in the wind. As she led Delenn out towards the door, Susan looked back at where Anna used to be, but she couldn't see her. She had faded farther into the shadows, and a s she looked for Anna, a terrifying image intruded on her mind. ****** She was on a deserted planet that had been brought back to life by the arrival of one ship on a mission of discovery. Susan didn't recognize the planet, but didn't stop to think about it. The image she saw next precluded any further thought about w here she was. All that mattered was what she was seeing, because what she was seeing scared the * hell * out of her. The reflection was dark, ominous, foreboding, and Susan got the sense that she was looking straight into the heart of all evil. She was outside the ship, in an EV suit, wandering around, looking for a place to begin the excavation, excited because t his place offered the discovery of a lifetime. The ruins were billions of years older than anything on Earth. Suddenly, she heard her name being called, and something pulled her down in to a deep cavern. Inside, laying in waiting for her, was a creature, a terrible, destructive creature that froze her heart with instinctive fear. A moment later, the fear w as replaced by hatred--pure, unadulterated hatred. Her mind cried out in shock, terror, and pain, but no one heard her screams as her essence--the very fiber of who she was--was sucked out of her by a power stronger and darker than any she had ever encou ntered. When she left the cave to return to the ship, she had been reborn, but she had been reborn in darkness, rather than into light. ****** Susan's mind recoiled instinctively from what she was seeing, feeling, sharing because all of her consciousness screamed that if she didn't get out now, she never would. She would become the empty receptacle for darkness that Anna had on that day, w hen she strayed away from the Icarus' crew and into the cave. She looked back at Anna for a long moment, and saw something in her eyes-she wasn't sure what it was, but it sent shivers along her arms. Suddenly, that didn't seem too unlikely. The evil that dwelled in Za'ha'dum knew everyone's name. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to steady herself, then she and Delenn--who was still mumbling that one Minbari word over and over--continued on their way. Once they had left, John rose unsteadily from the floor and started to approach Anna. Breathlessly, he stammered, "Anna, what? How...how did you get here?! I...thought you were dead!" The dimples in his cheeks showed for a second as a quick smile graced his features, replaced abruptly by the more familiar worry and confusion. Anna's voice was unsteady as she replied, "I...I don't know." Something about this conversation felt very familiar to Sheridan, but he couldn't catch the memory long enough for it to warn him. Instead, it simply began to tickle John's subconscious. "B-but you must remember *something *!" John protested, while he thought, His thoughts turned back to Delenn. ! He turned to Anna and pierced her with his firm, determined gaze, his blue eyes intense. Swallowing, Anna began slowly, "All...I remember is...being on the Icarus. We were out on the Rim somewhere, and we found this...this planet. It was old, John...so old. And * powerful *. You could look at the planet and feel its presence, its str ength. It was like the planet itself was alive, like it had a heart. There was nothing else we could do. We landed--we * had * to. After we did, I went out by myself, looking for somewhere to start the excavation. I don't know if anyone followed me. Maybe they did--I don't remember. I was just so *excited *, Johnny. That planet...it called to me. I * had * to go out alone. Then, I went somewhere...I don't remember...it was dark...I think it was a cave, or maybe somewhere underground. When I ca me back, the Icarus had already lifted off. It was, oh, maybe half a mile in the air, and then it just exploded. All of a sudden, like it was a piece of paper that had been soaked in oil. The fire--it was so * bright *.... I don't know if anyone else escaped. I must've been knocked unconscious by the blast." Anna paused for a moment, trying to decide what to say next. Her face was grave, as if her next words meant the difference between life or death. It was a momentary pause, so brief that John d idn't think any more of it than if she had stopped to take a breath. "Later," she continued, "I just...woke up, on some transport, and they told me it had been over * four years * since we'd left. I...I wasn't sure you'd remember me. I tried...I wante d to contact you...that's why I came. I-I didn't think...." Shaking his head, John reassured her, the awkward pause making him nervous, "No...there's no way you could have known." She shook her head miserably, protesting, "But I should have realized.... Oh, Johnny," she sighed, "I've missed you so much. You were the first thing I thought of when I woke up on the transport. Even then, I couldn't imagine my life without you. It took so long...for me to get better--for them to let me go. All I did was think of you--every day. I used to wish for you to just show up one day.... But you didn't, so I found out where you were stationed. When they let me go, I got on the first transport here." Taking a step forward, she reached out her hand, as if to lay it on the side of his face, but instinct made John pull away as if her touch would burn him. Every fiber in his being screamed ****** Delenn, who had a death grip on Susan's right arm, followed her down the corridor without conscious thought, still mumbling that strange word, and Susan got the distinct impression that she could have led Delenn straight into the fusion reactor and s he would not have protested. She slowed to a stop in front of the transport tube and while they were waiting, she temporarily pulled her arm free of Delenn's tight grip and tapped her link. "Ivanova to Medlab. Have someone meet me outside the transport tube. Something's wrong with Ambassador Delenn-I don't know what, but she fainted, and now she's just...saying this one word, over and over. It's making me nervous." The technician responded promptly, reacting to the rare tinge of fear in Susan's voic e. Something inside told her that the doctors wouldn't be able to do anything. Even twenty-third century medicine couldn't heal wounds of the soul. She pulled Delenn into the transport tube and called, "Emergency override! Blue Two! Take us straight to Medlab!" Sighing, Ivanova looked at Delenn, and she noticed something different, a discoloration on her forehead. Susan hesitantly brushed aside her bangs and gasped. "What * is * that?" Delenn's only response was to repeat even more loudly the Minbari word she had been using to cling to her sanity. Susan shook her head defeatedly and pressed her lips together. The tube slowed to a stop and opened, revealing two med-techs waiting w ith a stretcher. They tried to get Delenn to lay down, but she wouldn't, shaking all the harder when they attempted to push her down by force. Susan stepped between them. The med-techs tried to stop her, but she cut them off with a curt, angry shake of the head. She squinted and tried to lend Delenn some of her strength, somehow knowing that making her lay horizontally would make matters worse. She pushed the end of the mattress into a circle, and took Delenn by the shoulders, gently laying her down on the tilted part of the stretcher. While she followed everyone to Medlab, Susan suddenly stiffened as an overwhelming sense of danger intruded on her mind. "Ivanova to Garibaldi." "Garibaldi's beauty parlor. How may I help you?" Susan raised her eyebrows and couldn't resist a slight smile. she thought. Her face became serious as her eyes fell on the frail, shaking figure in front of her. "Chief, Delenn and I are on the way to Medlab. She collapsed--I don't know why, but she's...in real bad shape." Michael frowned and looked up at Zack, who mouthed, Good question, considering the circumstances. "Where's the Captain?" Michael asked. A grin popped up on Susan's face. "He's still in his quarters...with Anna." It was very hard not to laugh when she heard the strangled, astonished gasp, and finished before Michael could jump in, "Could you go see if everything's all right?" Her voice was nervous, timid, as though she were afraid he'd ask how she knew Sheridan was in trouble. "Back up!" protested Michael. "D-did you say * Anna *? As in the Captain's dead wife?" "Yep," she answered gaily, enjoying his discomfiture. "How'd she get here?" he asked incredulously. "Don't ask me! Are you going or aren't you?" "All right, all right, I'm on my way..." he paused, only then remembering the tone of her voice when she'd first contacted him. "Susan, are you all right?" he asked, more seriously. Susan sighed. It had been foolish to think she could pretend with Michael. "I'll...be OK," she finally answered, although she didn't know if that was the truth. ****** As Michael walked pensively down the corridor, he began to notice all the discontinuities in the station's makeup--it had, after all, been thrown together quickly after the disappearance of Babylon 4 almost seven years earlier. Something in Susan's voice was troubling him, but he couldn't place it. All he knew was that some instinct told him that she was about to change--although he didn't know if the change would be for the better or for the worse. He'd heard the urgency, but there was something more. Contemplation? Shock? Fear? Suddenly, he looked around for corridor leading to the Captain's quarters, and realized he was two sections away. "Aw, nuts," he muttered. Disgusted, he twirle d on his heel in perfect military style and retraced his steps, waving jauntily to a passing Pak'mara in a futile attempt to cover his mistake. Shaking his head at the human's foibles, grateful that the security chief hadn't realized he was not authorize d to be in this part of the station, the Pak'mara turned and went back the way he came. Michael's security chief instincts were screaming at him to hurry up, so he quickened his pace as he approached the Captain's quarters. he observed, so he went in without bothering to request admittance. "Captain?" he calle d cautiously, "Is everything OK? Susan said--" "I can just imagine what 'Susan said,'" John observed wryly, then continued, "Yes, I'm all right." If he had been in a better mood, it would've been easier for Sheridan to enjoy the look of stunned speechlessness on Michael's face as he tried to come up with something to say. Finally, he managed, "C-captain, is that...? That's not...?" "Yes, Chief, this is...was my wife Anna." The Captain paused, considering. "Aw, hell!" he sighed, shaking his head, "She's here, she's alive, and that's all that matters right now," John managed to say, his voice so weak it was barely audible. "Anyway, Anna," turning his gaze back in her direction and, to get formality out of the way, he stammered out in one breath, "I'd like you to meet our Chief Warrant Officer, Michael Garibaldi." Anna didn't seem to notice John's exhaustion, and if she did, she ignored it. Her darker side showed itself as she commented with false innocence, "The name fits." His pride hurt, Garibaldi swallowed back the snide remark he wanted to say, but only out of respect for Sheridan, rather than some misguided attempt at chivalry. "The pleasure's all mine, ma'am." Instead of continuing to gape at the captain's dead wife that was, somehow, standing in front of him, and who was also, somehow, quite alive, Garibaldi turned his astonished look towards the captain. Always the security officer, always on guard for discrepancies, Garibaldi asked, "But...but how? I thought you said...didn't she die when her ship blew up when she was exploring out on the Rim...?" Sheridan didn't say a word, hoping that Michael would take the cue and stop asking questions, at least for long enough for his brain to stop racing and to let the events of the last twenty minutes sink in. John didn't have any of the answers to Mich ael's questions, no matter how much he wished he did. Anna had evaded all of the specific questions he asked her. Sure, general questions she had no problems with, but when it came down to the particulars, she would either clam up and say nothing or ans wer and sound worse than a Vorlon. Exhaustion and worry making him irritable, John thought Nor mally, Sheridan was fairly adept at hiding his feelings, but at the moment, he was broadcasting his complete and utter disgust straight to Michael. Dismayed, surprised at the blatant anger on Sheridan's face, Michael took a surprised step backward. he thought. Knowing Stephen would have a field day with the psychological aspect of his reaction--since he belie ved that everything ultimately came down to biology--Michael tried to calm his nerves by making fun of the situation. Still, his well-developed sense of self-preservation made him keep it to himself this time. ****** Susan paced aimlessly back and forth by Delenn's bed, still furious at the med-techs. It had taken her a good ten minutes of...well, not-so-gentle persuasion to convince them to let her tip Delenn's bed up, and the only thing that finally convinced them was Delenn's wide-eyed look of terror and violent shudder when they tried to push her down flat on to the bed. Looking around at the hectic activity, she suddenly realized how everyone else in Medlab saw her--out of place, helpless. She knew that there was nothing she could do about what was going on--and so did the doctors and nurses around her. If there w as anything in the universe Susan hated with a passion, it was feeling helpless. Susan sighed, and looked to the ceiling. she thought for the thousandth time, complaining, Frustrated, Susan turned around and started pacing again, but when she looked back at Delenn, she saw that the ambassador had gone back into convulsions. The commander's eyes went wide with terror, and she screamed, "Help her! Someone help her!" No one answered, which irritated Susan to no end. She didn't know why no one heard her, but she didn't have time to care. The only thought in her head was that she had to help Delenn. She turned to rush towards the clutter of med-techs standing around the medical computer, who tried to brush her off like yet another nuisance that they couldn't deal with at the moment. After all, they had more important things to do than to take care of a crazed lunatic ranting and raving about their patient's medical condition--something about which she knew absolutely nothing. Instead of standing still while the med-techs took care of Delenn, she approached her tentatively, drawn by instinct alone. Stephen's former head nurse tried to distract her--tried to get her out of everyone else's way, but she just pushed past them and continued to Delenn's bedside. Somehow she knew that she had to do something, or something awful would happen to Delenn. She could possibly even die, but Susan couldn't allow herself to think of that possibility--even for her, it hurt too much. De lenn had been everyone's rock of Gibraltar, a steady, comforting presence that led all of them through the chaos their lives had become since they seceded from the EA. Ivanova observed, With only instinct to guide her, she cautiously reached out one hand. She placed it right on the center of the green triangle and gasped as a flood of images entered her mind, pushing aside all her own thoughts. One of the med-techs tried to pull h er away, but Susan ignored them. She brushed off the pressing feeling that she had seen some of this earlier-at any rate, it wasn't important. The only thing that was important was saving Delenn--not for Sheridan and not even for the war, but for hersel f. ****** Sheridan and Garibaldi rounded the corridor and entered Medlab. "--and you're saying you don't know how..." Michael's voice trailed off uncertainly. "S-Susan? What're you doing?" The Captain's eyes swung back and forth between Delenn and Susan, who didn't answer--didn't even seem to hear--Michael's question. He stepped forward and tapped her shoulder. When Susan still didn't respond, he put the palm of his hand on her cheek and tried to turn her head to face him. Before he could do anything, though, Medlab disappeared and suddenly he was standing with Susan in the labyrinth of corridors weaving through and under Epsilon III. They exchanged confused looks. "How did I get * here *?" Sheridan asked, and Susan shrugged offhandedly. She was just about to answer when a familiar face suddenly appeared before them. Zathras. He looked different, walked more slowly, and stepped forward to bow solemnly at them. "I am called Zathras," he announced grandly. Susan looked at John, her eyebrows raised in confusion as she asked, "Yeah. And...?" Sheridan nodded and shrugged. Zathras watched the two of them try to collect themselves and control their emotions. When he decided they were ready, he continued without further ado, "I am here to help both of you understand who you are. You must accept this before you proceed. " Not only had his stride changed, Zathras' voice was different--it was still accented, yes, but something had changed. Ivanova's eyes widened as she realized what it was: His dialect had changed--his words were grammatically correct. He sounded like e veryone else--no more broken and choppy sentences. No more